Grammar Pet Peeves

“In the contest between I and me, the booby prize often goes to myself.” This quote from “Woe is I,” sums up my biggest pet peeve.

It’s the missuses of these three words that, as writers, drive us to distraction. “Me, myself, and I,” are the three words that absolutely, make me cringe. As a result, I’ve decided to go on a one person campaign to try to get people to sound as intelligent as they are.

People putting a personal pronoun first. When I was little I remember my father explaining this basic rule to me. “Think of it as stepping in front of someone. It isn’t polite.” You wouldn’t walk up and cut in line. No, you’d wait your turn at the end. Unless you’re in a car and then it seems to be perfectly acceptable to push in wherever they like. But that’s another pet peeve.

Me.

The rule: Do not use ME as the subject of a sentence. It must be the object of the verb or preposition. (example “to me” “just between you and me,” etc)

This problem has its roots in childhood. Your parents wouldn’t give you a cookie when you said, “Me want a cookie.” Instead they gently corrected you to say, “I want a cookie.” It planted in your mind that me wasn’t as acceptable as the word I. We begin to think subconsciously—and yes it is sub and not un because you can’t think anything if you’re unconscious—that I is more refined and therefore more correct choice. Not necessarily.

Don’t say—I and John are going or John and ME are going.

Do say—Between you and me or they came to see Bruce and me.

Myself.

The Rule: self-ish words (reflexive pronouns—yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, and themselves) are often used in place of I and me, he and she, etc. It may be laziness, out of habit or, because people just don’t know which is correct so they stuff in a self-ish pronoun.

The rule: reflexive pronouns – myself, himself, herself, itself, themselves, ourselves, yourself, yourselves- should be used only when they refer back to another word in the sentence. Use myself to refer back to yourself (I dressed myself.)

I.

The rule: Use I only as the subject of a verb.

The rule of thumb is to remove the other noun from the sentence and see if it still makes sense.

Susie and me walked across the street. Remove the Susie and and you end up with, me walked across the street. Remember, your mom won’t give you a cookie for this one.

I know this seems so basic, but if you listen to others speak and some write you find the errors glairing. It becomes annoying when you hear the mistakes repeated time and time again on TV and in the newspapers.

Since I’m on the subject I’ll throw in my second teeth gritter. Less and fewer.

Less– a smaller extent, or degree smaller in size, less exact. Often preceded by much or still: not so large, great, or much: less money; less speed. lower in consideration, rank, or importance.

Fewer– a smaller number: fewer words and more action. a smaller number: Fewer have come than we hoped.

In the end if you can count it it’s fewer. If not use less.

Remember kids learn by example and they’re hearing the errors from all sources and taking them as correct. Do a kid a favor, speak correctly.

What are your pet peeve words or phrases?

 

Put Power in Your Writing

“Given all the weirdness of being raised in rural Idaho in the 50’s, though, I’ve got to say that walking the mile home after changing the water (irrigating) on a summer evening—that long solitary walk at sunset down the dusty roads through the sugar beet fields, the alfalfa fields, the barley and wheat fields, was something close to a miracle. Really the connection I felt to the sky and to the earth and to the water created in me a feeling of being connected to an abiding deep mystery.

Idaho: such an enigma. But isn’t that what home is?

The dreaded place where your heart sings.”

I marvel at how much information and power Tom Spanbauer (author of Dangerous Writing) was able to pack into the above hundred plus words. He gives us time, place, setting, mood, state of mind and conflict. And leaves us wanting to know about this person.

Think of the possibilities it presents. As the beginning of a book, it could go in so many directions and fit any genre. And what a powerful ending it would make.

It gives us so much information.

Outwardly—time, place, and texture. Can’t you just feel the heat of the day? The exhaustion from moving irrigation pipe?

Bubbling just below the surface—family, community, the times/social issues and the conflict the person is feeling.

Deep down in the pit of the character’s stomach—the real struggles with home, the barriers of the time period, and the self-imposed limitations.

All the layers woven together seamlessly.

That’s power in writing.

I constantly strive to achieve this kind of power in my writing. I’ve found no formula, no quick fix and no shortcut. Drat!

I have come to the conclusion the best way to conquer the technique is to see how others pull it off. When I find a powerful passage or compelling dialogue, I copy it down. And use it for inspiration. The above passage is one I’ll read and re-read in an effort to stimulate my muse.

It works. I’ve got long lists of both scenes and dialogue. When I come across inspiring insights on making dialogue or description better, I add the tips to a separate list.

When I’m writing, I don’t refer to my lists, but when I’m polishing, they are invaluable. When I feel a scene or section isn’t flowing, I’ll read some of the passages. I’d never plagiarize, but I use the words as hints or inspiration. A simple turn of a phrase or a combination of words will spark an idea.

The idea is to learn from others.

Here are a couple of things I’ve learned.

When you want a character to have an accent, don’t mutilate each word. Instead, pick two or three words, or a phrase. It will convey the idea of an accent without making the reader crazy trying to read mangled words. Who did I pick this up from? Mary Stewart.

Leave the reader with an emotional ending. They’ll remember the book by how they felt at the end. Robert Crais was the one who taught me that.

Originality matters. Try new things. They may not all work, but some will. Brad Meltzer, the man who killed his first person character in the beginning of the book.

Experiment with new ideas while keeping the lessons of the past in view.

What techniques do you have to give your writing power?

 

Five Steps to a Retreat

Have you ever been on a writer’s retreat? If not, find some people and go. For years, our critique group has retreated twice a year. Spring and fall. In the summer, our chapter goes on a weekend writing outing. Retreats are wonderful writing tools. They can rejuvenate and refresh if you follow a few steps.

It takes us away from the everyday and stimulates the brain cells.

Here’s how to have a great experience.

1. Who’s in charge? We split up the responsibilities. One person searched out the location, someone coordinates the activities, someone picks the restaurants, and someone is in charge of the Girly Grab Bag…more on that later. Split things up so no one is overwhelmed.
2. Location, location, location. Pick a place that’s interesting or new. You don’t have to go out of town. It’s nice, but not necessary. We’ve gone to resort towns, B&B’s of all kinds. The resort town was relaxing. There wasn’t much to do except write, but that’s why we were there. One B&B was the former home of Senator Frank Church, where the food was great. And a haunted former school where the food was nominal, but the atmosphere was interesting. We went to the haunted place over Halloween. To our delight, there was a massive haunted house in the abandoned college across the way. We had a great time. We’ve also stayed in town. Nothing new or particularly interesting, but fun.
3. Make sure the place you chose had what you need. I’m not just talking about breakfast here. Are you going to need the internet or a printer? It’s a hassle to drag a printer along, but fortunately most full service hotels have a business center. If you’re going to a small place, you may have to take one along if you truly need it.
4. Go with a plan in mind. This can be as general as write anything, or as specific as finish chapter three. Whatever the goal, keep it clearly in mind and don’t forget any information you need to accomplish your goal. Take into account how long you’re going to be gone and let that be your guide to how much you take. If it’s for a weekend, you can get along without a lot, but if you’re headed for a marathon week, you’ll need more. I use a laptop as my main computer so when I go somewhere, I have everything. No forgetting that vital document you need for your goal.
5. Respect. Keep in mind the needs of the others in the group. We have writers who need complete silence and some who do better with companionship. It may necessitate two rooms, or other accommodations. Whatever it takes, be cognizant of your friends’ wishes.
6. Now for the fun. You can’t keep your head in your manuscript all the time. Your brain will turn to Silly Putty. Plan for recreation. Even if it’s a few glasses of wine over dinner or Girly Grab Bags. Over the year, we scour the landscape for inexpensive, but unique gifts. We wrap them all in the same paper and toss them in a bag. Then randomly, we dig into the bag for a treat. It’s a distraction, fun, and everyone goes home with a prize or two.

Retreats are not that daunting when broken down into steps. All you need to do is coordinate your schedules.

Do you go on retreats? What was the best or worst you’ve been on?

 

Research

Research is fun and will add texture and depth to your books. It can also one of the most frustrating aspects of writing. With the advent of the Internet the amount of information is overwhelming. No matter what topic you put in, jillions of websites pop up all eager to give you information. The problem is which ones are reliable and which ones are just someone’s ramblings? And are the best sites on the top? Or are they just the ones someone’s brother clicks on every half hour so they look as if they get a lot of traffic? It’s so hard to tell.

Here are some alternatives to the WWW.

People—get your information locally. There’re tons of local organizations and experts who know about everything from agriculture to zoologists. Remember someone you know probably knows someone who has the information you need.

 

I’ve found that if you tell people you’re a writer and are trying to get the right information for your WIP, they’re eager to help.

Forge friendships with people in different walks of life. Since I’ve been writing, I’ve made friends with private detectives, gardeners, interior designers, police, lawyers, doctors, and on goes the list. They’re all helpful, fun, and have a unique outlook on topics.

Here are a few things to take into account when you meet with or contact someone.

Be courteous. Their time is valuable.

Be prepared. Have your questions ready and written down. The more prepared you are, the more professional you’ll look and the more information you’ll get.

Ask open-ended questions. People love to tell stories.

When your book gets published (always be optimistic), acknowledge your sources. Even go so far as to mail your source a book with a thank-you note. The next time you need information, they’ll be eager to help.

Printed material—Magazines are great. No matter what you write, someone probably has come up with a magazine for it.

I’m a book junkie. In my office, I have one whole wall—minus the window—in bookshelves. If you’re writing about a different time period try going to a used book store or an antique shop. The antique shop may not have a lot, but they may know someone who does. Which could lead you to a source. See people above.

Pamphlets are another great resource. Even if you aren’t going to travel, brochures to different places are great for descriptions. Don’t limit yourself to travel flyers. Collect all kinds because you never know when the subject matter will spur an idea or fill in a gap in your story and lead you to a source. And if you’re in need of a flyer for yourself you’ve got a wealth of ideas to draw from.

Classes—Yes go back to school. Try some Community Education classes. They’re inexpensive and you can make contacts for future reference. It’s a great way to get a taste of a subject.

If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a college or university, they sometimes have mini-courses that aren’t expensive. Our local university’s culinary school used to have cooking classes. I loved them. I found out all kinds of things from the five great sauces to how to care for knives. They weren’t well attended and are no longer around. So get out and support your local resources. Who knows? You may find a new passion.

The Internet—If you must. The problem with websites is they can be very helpful or completely inaccurate. Be aware when you surf the information out there.

How do you approach research?

 

Make it Fun to Read

A fun read isn’t just laughs. It’s conflict between not being able to put the book down and not wanting it to end.

1. Simple—Keep ‘em busy, keep ‘em moving, and keep ‘em guessing. Remember your reader is relying on you to pick out the important points, and leave out the boring parts. As usual, it all begins with character. What’s in your character’s emotional closet? Like any good closet, it should have a good combination of color, texture, and something for every season. Everything from warm wool coats to skimpy undies. Jeans to party dresses. Worn tennies to sparkly platforms. Granny’s lace hanky to a yoga mat. Is it neat with everything in a labeled container, or is everything tossed in, hiding last year’s favorite sweater? And down in the back behind the box labeled red party heels in the deepest darkest corner is a box that when opened, will cause all kinds of problems.

When you open the door to give the reader a peek inside, be sure they get only a glimpse (If you’re writing a series) or a little longer look, or even leave the door ajar if you’re writing a stand-alone. In the beginning, if that peek can be interpreted in at least two ways, all the better. Was that a real mink coat? Or a fake? Was it a bear? The more questions the glimpse raises, the better. It will tug your reader along to find the answer.

1. Setting—Where in the world are these people? Your setting doesn’t have to be exotic, but it does have to be interesting and important. Making the setting a character in the story is important. That means your reader can’t imagine the story taking place anywhere else.
2. Action—It goes without saying that something interesting must be happening. That doesn’t mean you have to keep them out of dinners, or out of cars, but if you put them there, you’d better have something happening on more than two levels. Eating or driving, conversation, and something else.

I remember a story (I don’t remember who told it) of a writer who was on a ride-a-long with her local police. She was excited to get all the exciting real cop info she could soak up. It wasn’t long before they were called to a crime scene. He flipped on the lights and siren, then pushed the gas pedal to the floor. As they screamed down the winding road, the writer hanging on for dear life, adrenalin bubbling from every pore what was the topic of conversation? Not the high-speed trip, one the cop had been here on a hundred times. No, it was the birth of his new baby. He went in to detail of the birth of his new tax deduction as he sped down the street to a crime scene. A twist on the usual.

1. Dialogue—Load the dialogue with hints and levels of information. There’s what’s being said, what’s meant, what is being felt, what’s being seen, and what’s revealed about the plot and the characters. It’s a lot to work in, but it will keep things moving along and interesting if you weave them all into conversation. I’m not advocating head-hopping. The fewer POV’s you use, the more you can hide from or misdirect the reader. You want the reader to misinterpret something along with the character.
2. Characters—Don’t underestimate the power of secondary characters. Interesting SC’s can add life, interest, and drama to a story. Think of your favorite books. Chances are there was a great SC lurking to up the action, deepen the emotion, or lighten the mood.

Adding layers and depth to your writing takes some planning and care. In the end, you’ll end up with a fun read.