Ah, children. The love of my life. The wrench in my writing cog. Terrible thing to say isn’t it? I love my children. Deeply, truly and with all my heart. I just often wish they would leave me alone when I am trying to write. But, that’s kids for you. They want your full and undivided attention. And they should get it and you want to give it to them, but . . .
Even if you don’t write, most mothers have other full time jobs outside of the home. Most writers as well. So, how do you battle through the guilt and find that compromise between you – as a writer, woman, friend, individual – and you – as a mother?
If someone has the answer please let me know. I’m still struggling.
As much as I would love to sit at my computer and write for hours of uninterrupted bliss, I have kids. And they do need to be fed upon occasion, read to, played with and generally loved. So . . . options: 1.Get up early. Fine, if you don’t mind missing sleep. 2.Stay up late. See number one. 3. Pay a babysitter. Expensive and missing time with the children. 4. Turn on the TV. Viable but then you worry about their eyes and their developing brains. 5. Write when you can. Okay but doesn’t always lead to lots of production or a schedule.
Personally, I am the Wicked Witch of the West and Ursula combined (capitals definitely needed here), if I do not get my sleep. Which leads to bad mommy. I can’t afford a babysitter on a weekly basis. Yes, there are times when I do turn on the TV – probably too many of them – but there are some great educational shows. Truly. What I usually end up with though is: writing when I can.
I carry a notebook and pen at all times as well as the Netbook that I saved for. I write in the seating area at my local grocery store in between activities. I write in the parking lot. I send my husband on errands with my children and write like crazy. My house is usually quite messy and we tend to have frozen pizza a lot for dinner, but I can manage my guilt and my characters as well as my children. Most of the time. Sort of.
Next year, my youngest will be in first grade. I may actually have more time to write. Hah. Because it’s not a perfect world, and despite all of our efforts most writers will never have the luxury of a dedicated schedule for writing. But we still write. Because it is our passion.
And I firmly believe that my writing makes me a better mom because I am embracing that passion.
One last thing, I also feel that it is important – especially as the mother of smaller, constantly starving children – to occasionally re-enter the real world and clean out the car and our purses. I found green cheese in a ziploc bog at the bottom of my purse yesterday. At least it hadn’t leaked onto my notebook.