When I read a male author who has written from the female point of view (POV), I enjoy evaluating just how good of a job he’s done at getting inside the female head. So, as a woman writing in male POVs, I’m constantly aware of the gender gap. I don’t want my hero, my main dude, to come across as one of the girls.
We can’t possibly go over all the actions and thought processes that differentiate male from female, and every man is different. But here are some of the things I’ve observed over the years. They will not apply to every man.
Tip # 1 – Your alpha heros (and most betas) will not eagerly ask for help. It will be a last resort…if ever.
We all snigger about the human male’s apparent biological inability to stop the car and ask for directions. I don’t believe it’s about the car. I think it’s a resistance to ask for help in general. A particular Alpha Male I know and his wife were driving down a ditch bank, not far from home, when they got stuck in the mud. The wife suggested calling for help, but Alpha Male said no, he could fix it himself, and so they walked home to get vehicle #2 to pull vehicle #1 out of the mud. Twenty minutes later, both vehicles were stuck. Alpha Male still did not need help. But the more they worked, the worse the situation became with one of the vehicles winding up precariously close to going into the ditch. Still, Alpha Male did not need help. His wife walked back to the house, and despite demands to the contrary, she executed a phone call that dispatched two more alpha males, in their respective four-wheel-drive trucks that had been designed for just such an occasion, out to the canal bank. She hid out at home.
Both vehicles were successfully retrieved, but should a similar incident occur in the future, I am quite certain that Alpha Male will still not need any help.
Tip # 2 – Unless your male character is an artist, house painter, or is particularly fashion savvy, keep descriptions of colors and fabric textures basic when in his POV.
Your heroine may admire the shade of lilac, but your hero probably sees purple. Women tend to know the exact shades and colors they look good in, so they’re naturally more conscious of subtle changes in hue. We also tend to nest more than men and want to make sure the rose colored towels look right with the mauve throw rug. Your man looks at the same room and sees pink with more pink, and what do you mean do they look good together…they’re both PINK, and that much pink never looks good.
Tip # 3 – Your male characters won’t take disagreements as personally as your female characters.
I worked with a group of over two hundred women at one point. When one woman would get mad at another, she would tell everyone…except the person she was mad at. She’d also hold a grudge for an indefinite period of time. Her friends might hold a grudge too. Imagine how surprised I was when I went from this estrogen dominate environment to a primarily testosterone charged culture. When conflict ensued between these men, they’d get in each other’s faces–literally. I was horrified the first time a heated argument broke out between two male co-workers. Things got tense. They squared off. Voices were raised. Chests were puffed. Any moment, someone was going to throw a punch. Then one of the men looked at his watch and said, “It’s lunch. Want to go to that new burger joint?” And off they went, still friends. The argument had been dropped in lieu of gastronomic pursuits.
Tip # 4 – Your hero will probably speak with confidence, even when he’s not.
Men speak confidently. They generally won’t condition statements with “I think…” or “I’m not sure…” I worked with a guy who was very knowledgeable about many things, but it took me awhile to figure out that he didn’t know everything. When he didn’t know, he still answered as if he did.
Tip # 5 – Your hero won’t call his buddies just to chat.
If I didn’t talk to my best friend for six months, she wouldn’t speak to me at all. My husband’s best friend lives on the other side of the country. They talk once a year, during the football season, when one calls the other to discuss life-altering events, such as the football league. We got married in April. My husband will mention this to his friend this fall…if he remembers.
As I mentioned earlier, every man is different and these observations are just generalities. But as a female author, you much be aware of these generalities, so that you don’t have your hero reacting to a situation in a manner that you, as a woman, would react (same applies to men writing in a female POV). There are plenty of books that can help explain the thought processes, actions, and reactions of the opposite sex. You may already have some on your shelf (remember those Mars & Venus books–pull them out). Not only can they help you write better characters, they might even help you understand that hero you snuggle up to each night.